My School Says I'm Worthless (sort of a rant)

I'm a criminal because my values aren't their values
And I'm scum to say the least
Because I'm not on their list
Of academics
High achievers
Schooling-keen
Fervent believers
Ones who have their lives set out
And drink from molten glory raining down from
School top balconies...

And I have myself left to blame for all the non-attempts
And truancies; the bleak distractions
That help me escape the inviolable test-score stares
Of disapproval that I attract from their
Sternly-sculpted syllabus-minds
And they're forced to ask me 'Why?
Why are you still here?'
And I can barely say
That I'm afraid to leave.
That I know that no-one knows
Who
Or what they want to be
But unlike those
I gave up
A while ago

And they can't tell me to my face that I'm a failure so they heavily imply
That my lacking presence
And even less impressive
Tendency for slacking off is evidence
That I am stupid and a fool and nothing more than such a waste of resources
And it's a disappointment
That I don't hold their ideals
Of what I feel's important.

And I'll go home and tell myself that their archetypal way of life
Doesn't have to be my life
But constantly this shellshock
From subtle insults detonating in my ears
Starts to make me wonder
Am I too stupid to survive?
Am I wrong to be hardwired
To try enjoy the thunderclap that is a life
This fleeting thing of mine
That they call worthless.
Nothing.
It's too late to be something.

And I fear that I will begin to believe
That I am wrong
And dense
Deplorable
A criminal because their values aren't my values
And these words be nothing more than an excuse
For the senseless, hollow, inset views
That I hold
And should never express
Not ever confess

Because they're nothing but irrelevant

So says the unassailable score of my school test.